Conversations of the Nations
by EverythingMath
Summary: Several different conversations had by some of the Hetalia Nations
1. Chapter 1- Medieval History

The first of a series, hopefully! Enjoy!

~~~Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. Or Britain, Holy Rome, Ottoman Empire, France, the Magyars, or Rome.~~~

History

-With the Nations-

Turkey: First off, the reporter better have written my name as Ottoman Empire, because we are reenacting a scene from before I changed to Turkey.

England: Ok, Mr. Ottoman Empire…

Turkey: Ottoman!

England: I said Ottoman!

Turkey: No, you said O'oman. Your accent is awful.

England: Just get on with it!

HRE: Is it my turn? Ok. So, my name came about after Grandpa Rome fell, and the pope decided to name me after him.

England: Which pope?

HRE: Leo III.

Rome: I did not fall! I was still alive! I live—

England: Your land did not include the city of Rome. Your name was Byzantium, and your people spoke Greek.

Rome: But the people were Roman!

Turkey: They were Greco-Roman, Arab-Roman, and everything but full Roman.

Rome: Th-

England: Moving on! So then what?

Hungary: My mighty nomadic warriors –

Rome: … failed to enter Constantinople. Waaah! It's true! Put down the… what is that?

Turkey: You really ARE ancient. It's a frying pan.

England: Come on, stop getting off topic! How did you survive the Huns, Rome?

Rome: Constantinople had a moat, three walls, and ninety-seven defense castles. And if that isn't enough proof that I'm an awesome architect, they were built in six weeks and still stand today!

Hungary: So they really were built in six weeks. I thought I had received false information.

Turkey: Don't forget that Istanbul had a massive chain across the harbor. And you can see it in a museum today.

England: Constantinople, not Istanbul.

Turkey: Whatever, they're the same thing!

England: You were the one who demanded we call you Ottoman Empire! Ottoman, happy? OTToman!

HRE: Meanwhile, back where we were…

England: Around that time, my nobles got mad and signed the Magna Carta. I got a parliament.

France: My territory was expanded under Charlemagne the Great.

England: Then we had a big fight…

France: One hundred years. I won. Be quiet, England.

Rome: Hey, you know what else?

England: What?

Rome: Constantinople is a cultural melting pot because of all the trade!

England: We weren't talking about Constantinople.

Turkey: It is still a trade center today, as well as a link between Europe and Asia!

England: TUR—OTTOMAN EMPIRE!

Turkey: Sorry.

HRE: I think we got everything. Besides, if we go on longer, someone will get killed. Goodbye!

-And cut-

Inspired by my history teacher! For one thing, she (my teacher) is teaching Medieval History so my head is full of fresh knowledge that I put here, and for another thing she has some really intellectual conversations with me- we were talking about "Ottoman" vs. "Odoman" vs. "O'oman", and how British accents work, just last Friday. (Hence the O'oman argument.)

Also, the "I was still alive!" thing from Rome: The Byzantines thought of themselves as Romans even after Western Rome fell, so they were rather insulted when Pope Leo III crowned someone "Holy Roman Emperor." To the Holy Romans, Grandpa Rome was dead but now lived on in them. To the Byzantines, the Holy Romans were stealing their name!

Thank you for reading!

-EverythingMath


	2. Chapter 2- Sayings and Gloves

The only reason these are in the same story is because of the formatting. Enjoy!

~~~Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.~~~

Hockey, Fencing. and Gloves

England: *yells at France*

America: Seriously dude, you need to do something better than yelling at him. Throw down the glove, challenge him to a fencing match or something!

England: Muahaha, I will kick France's butt in fen-

Canada: AMERICAAAA!

America: Who are you?

Canada: *totally ignoring him* You just used a Canadian saying!

America: What? What saying?

Canada: You said 'drop the glove', I heard you!

America: Uhhh, no, I learned that from Iggy.

Canada: Even my sayings are being stolen?! Waaaahhhhh!

England: Um, it's pretty ironic that you used 'throw down the glove', then told me to challenge him to **fencing**.

Canada: Why?

England: Because that's using the saying literally.

Canada: *completely confused* Um, hockey?

America: We weren't talking about hockey...

Canada: Yes we were. The saying is about hockey.

England: No, it refers to fencing. That's why it is ironic.

Canada: WHOA! We have two similar sayings with COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ORIGINS?!

America: Speak up. I can't hear you.

Canada: Don't you dare tease me. I have a hockey stick.

America: Um, we will leave you to your wacko sport.

England: Your football isn't much better.

America: FOOTBALL-

England: WAIT! DON'T YELL! Um, would you be so kind as to tell Frog that I wish to meet him? Muahaha..

America: FRANCIS!

France: Mon Dieu...

So, the second chapter!

Yes, there really is a saying "throw down the glove" and "drop the glove".

By the way, I do know how to fence! It's a cool sport! Thank you for reading!

~EverythingMath


	3. Chapter 3- On Sizes and Surprises

Yo guys, here is the third story in this interview-style set of stories! This one was also inspired by my history teacher!

~~~Disclaimer: Still don't own Hetalia. ~~~

On Sizes and Surprises

America: Yesterday, I heard someone say that Turkey was a massive nation the size of Texas.

England: your glasses?

America: the state. It puts me in perspective, doesn't it?

England: yes, I suppose it does…

America: I'm third largest in both landmass and population.

China: I have the biggest population, aru!

Russia: and I've got the largest landmass.

England: I beg to differ. BRITISH EMPIRE!

America: you and your brothers together are smaller than France.

Russia: no, he said Empire. If he can use past names, I can too. SOVIET UNION!

England: pfff. My empire still beats your Soviets.

America: Rome was said to be a great empire, and he was smaller than the commie…

Russia: I'm not communist.

America: you said Soviet Union, you are comm-

England: as long as you, China, and Russia are in the same room without killing each other, for once in your life call him Russia!

America: noted.

China: what were you saying about your Empire, aru?

England: oh I only held control over ONE QUARTER OF THE WORLD'S LANDMASS!

America: really?

England: stop and think, colony. I had you, Canadia, Australia, India, lots of Europe-

America: okay! I get it!

Russia: I have a map of the 22 countries not invaded by England.

America: let's ignore the fact that that's a bit stalkerish… TWENTY TWO!?

England: Hahahaha, only 22 countries escaped my wrath!

America: all right, you were the biggest Empire in history. What happened?

England: you fought me… but other than that, it was really expensive to keep all of those colonies. Even Australia.

China: why 'even Australia?'

England: it was a prison, basically. I sent a bunch of criminals there.

China: there's something else, aru.

America: what?

China: mine and India's population are about ten times yours, and you are the third largest.

America: yeah! There's also a big gap between me and the fourth largest country.

China: who is the fourth largest?

America: I don't know.

England: does anyone know?

Russia: what about the fourth largest population?

America: I don't know that either.

England: so everyone knows the three largest, but no-one knows the fourth.

China: we're the only ones good enough to be noticed, aru.

America: hey, who is the second biggest landmass?

China: I don't know. I thought we knew!

America: this is creepy. I thought we knew, too! Who is it?

Canada: NOTICE ME, YOU IDIOTS! IT'S ME!

~fin~

Largely based on fact! Yes, Turkey is the size of Texas! (I say largely based because there is no such thing as personified countries.)

Well, thanks for reading. Please review! And, if you suggest a topic (trade in medieval times, origins of names, etc.) I just might use that for the next one!

~EverythingMath


	4. Chapter 4- Hanukkwanzsolstifestivistmas

Salve! Here is the fourth conversation… explaining a word my friend taught me. I present… Hanukkwanzsolstifestivistmas!

Oh, Salve means Hello in Latin. It is pronounced SAUL-we. They pronounce v's as w's in Latin.

~~~Disclaimer: I own Hetalia now. Just kidding, I still don't. ~~~

Hanukkwanzsolstifestivistmas!

_With the Bad Touch Trio_

Spain: Merry Hanukkwanzsolstifestivistmas, and any holidays I may have missed!

France: Don't speak Spanish to the readers, Toni.

Prussia: Speak for yourself, Frenchie!

Spain: That wasn't Spanish. I'm insulted.

France: What was it, then?

Prussia: I know what it is, it's English! It means the Holidays of December.

Spain: And the prize goes to Gilbert!

France: What? I've never heard that word.

Prussia: It's not in the dictionary, really.

Spain: Basically, it takes parts of the words Hanukkah, Kwanza, Solstice, Festivus, and Christmas and combines them.

France: …you've lost me.

Prussia: Try saying it five times fast! Then you'll really be lost! Happy holidays, Francis.

Spain: Happy holidays to all the readers, too! Merry Hanukwa- *mmph*

Faint noises from the background: (Let go of me, Francis!) (No, you're being annoying.) (Gil, help!) (Okay, okay, just let me turn off the recorder.) BEEP-

And there is the BTT! They're really fun to write, because they annoy each other and criticize each other and help/give advice to each other… but they're always best friends. Also, they are a former conquistador/pirate, a "love expert", and a person of amazing strength (the Teutonic Knights.) So yeah, fun to write.

REVIEW, PLEEAAASE! I wanna know if you think I'm a good writer or not! And you are always welcome to send in a subject of choice, to give me inspiration, which I am quickly running out of…

~_EEEEEVERYTHING_math!


	5. Chapter 5- They're called VIOLAS

Hey peoples, I'm back! FYI I play cello! My friend plays viola, and it makes her SO mad when people ask what the difference is…

And I am officially out of ideas. Please review!

They're called VIOLAS

Prussia: Hey Specs, what are you doing?

Austria: Practicing this new song. What else would I be doing?

Prussia: I don't know. The violin sounds nice.

Austria: Violin?

Prussia: Er… the instrument currently in your hands.

Austria: IT IS A VIOLA! How many times…

Prussia: There's no difference between a viola and a violin.

Austria: One, it is slightly larger. Two, it has a C string.

Prussia: That is only two…

Austria: Three, it does not have an E string. Four, the bow is longer.

Prussia: What difference does the bow length make?

Austria: Five, violins split into two sections in a full orchestra.

Prussia: I'm not quite sure that is a difference.

Austria: Six, the violins are squeakier…

Prussia: Now you are making things up.

Austria: I can always tell the difference between a violin and a viola.

Prussia: I can't!

Austria: That does not say much.

Prussia: HEY!

Austria: Well, maybe you will remember the difference between the violin and the viola now. Having known me for centuries, I would have thought you would have at least started to get an understanding of the completely different [blah blah blah…]

Prussia: AUSTRIA!

Austria: *continues ranting*

Prussia: What I really came here for was to tell you the world meeting is in an hour… but now it is ten minutes.

Austria: It was your fault for bringing up that topic.

They are MUCH DIFFERENT INSTRUMENTS! Yes, if you listen hard enough you can tell if the violas are playing. Yes, violins are squeaky.

…But I play cello so the squeakiness might be biased.

That one was clumsy. Oh well.

Please review!

~EVERYTHINGISMATH (is and will always be!)


	6. Chapter 6- The Trouble With America

**California has a north and a south, in my stories. This is because of their different climates and personalities.**

**A few states just already have a north and south. Virginia has Virginia and West Virginia.**

**That said, please enjoy!**

The trouble with America

Maine: Hey all, how is it going?

S. California: Perfectly _fine,_ thanks, except for the fact that I _HAVE NO WATER!_

Georgia: I'd gladly give you some of mine! My streets are flooded! The hurricane is ripping up houses!

Alaska: Little Texas is so funny; he says my place is freezing.

Texas: Speak for yourself! You were at my place… practically dying of heat… IN WINTER!

America: And the other countries complain about the weather…

…..

S. California: OW! There's this forest fire that's been going on for days, and it's getting really out of control. I guess we'll have to close the schools, it's really bad.

N. Carolina: My schools are also closed.

Nevada: Why?

N. Carolina: It's a snow day.

S. California: Oh, I've heard of that. I think I might have even had a snow day once.

N. Carolina: You don't even know what snow is…

S. California: No, I really don't.

…..

S. California: OH MY GOSH IT'S RAINING!

Oregon: It's not even… this is just a drizzle…

S. California: IT'S RAINING!

Virginia: She's a bit crazy when it comes to rain… we all have quirks. You should see her and Tex in my winter or Alaska in my summer…

Arizona: OR YOU IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN!

Vermont: Bottom line is, we're all different.

…..

France: America is an odd place, and English is difficult.

New York: Préféreriez-vous français? _(Would you prefer French ?)_

France: Uh… Oui.

Spain: Oh, can you speak Spanish too?

New York: Por supuesto que puedo, no soy estúpido._(Of course I can, I'm not stupid.)_

Prussia: German?

New York: Ja, und die meisten anderen Sprachen. _(Yes, and most other languages.)_

France: How do you know all these languages?

New York: Quis veniet ad me in toto terrarum orbe ab aliquando… that was Latin. _(Someone from everywhere in the world comes to me at some point... that was Latin.)_

France: Are all your siblings like this?

Louisiana: Non, c'est different pour chaqu'une. _(No, it is different for each of us.)_

S. California: La mayor parte proviene de nuestros lugares. Estoy justo al lado de México. _(__Most of it comes from our locations. I'm right next to Mexico.)_

New York: But I, of course, speak the most languages!

…..

Wisconsin: Cheese, cheese, and milk and other dairy stuff, and the Green Bay Packers and cheese.

Delaware: Wisconsin likes cheese, if you haven't noticed.

S. California: You do know that California produces the most cheese, right?

Wisconsin: No fair! You have the top population of all the states!

S. California: I do seem to get a lot of bonus for that. It can sway a presidential election.

England: How do you sway an election?

N. Dakota: Here's how it works. First of all, all the voters vote.

S. Dakota: The states collect the votes. They each have a certain amount of representatives, and they can either split the representatives based on the votes or put all their votes for the winner in the state.

Rhode Island: The amount of representatives is based on population, so I have the least and California has the most.

N. California: the thing is, our population mostly votes 49%:51%, or something close. So if half our votes would be to one candidate, but we put them all to the other candidate instead, that is a lot of votes changed.

England: Well!

Wisconsin: Cheese...

(A/N: gosh, that segment was supposed to be about cheese! What happened?!)

…..

**I'm a bit crazy with weather right now, can you tell? I hope you enjoyed! Please review and give me more ideas for this story!**

**~EM**


	7. Chapter 7- 21 Celsius

**Hello, I am back! I got an anonymous review with a few ideas, so this is sports. Or, it was sports and then my ideas go away from me. (I'm sorry if this is different than you thought, but this story is where I try to put at least **_**mostly**_** facts.)**

21… Celsius

America: Hey Britian, what'cha doing?

England: For the last time, it's England! I'm going to play football with Germany.

America: Germany?! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!

England: No, we've played before...

America: You don't seem like the type to play football. You are really small.

England: What difference does that make?

America: Seeing as Germany is a lot bigger than you and he works out every day, I think that he has an obvious win.

England: I'll have you know that I've won before!

America: In football? Against Germany? Can I watch?

England: Sure, I don't know what the deal is...

Germany: Hello, England.

England: Hello.

Germany: Begin.

America:...

England: Point for me!

America: If you meant soccer, you should have said so!

England: *facepalm* Americans are so odd.

Canada: Tell me about it. Isn't it a nice day?

America: Yeah, it's about 70 degrees out!

Canada: 70? Your thermometer must be broken.

America: Well, it feels like 70 degrees out anyway, so it is at least close.

Canada: Maybe your nerves are broken too... It isn't 70 degrees. It's more like 21.

America: Fahrenheit?

Canada: Oh. No, Celsius.

America: That would explain it.

Germany: Speaking of, I do not understand your measurement system.

America: Why? It's very simple. You have 12 inches in a foot, 3 feet in a yard, and 1760 yards in a mile! Simple!

Germany: What about cups and gallons and that?

America: 3 teaspoons in a tablespoon, 16 tablespoons in a cup, 2 cups in a pint, 2 pints in a quart, 4 quarts in a gallon. See, quart is like quarter- for quarter of a gallon.

England: Our system is simpler. You just have multiples of ten. Ten millimeters in a centimeter, 100 centimeters in a meter, 1000 meters in a kilometer...

America: But if you measure a person's height, you have to say it in centimeters. That's a lot of centimeters. But I can say that Germany is about 6 foot, and England is a bit over 5 foot, and they are nice small numbers to work with.

England: Good point. However, I still do not see why you use a different measuring system from the rest of the world.

America: You're one to talk; you drive on the wrong side of the road!

England: No, I drive on the right side of the road. All of you drive on the wrong side!

Germany: Americans are strange.

…

**So, thanks for reading! Please review, I am still open to suggestions!**

**~EM**


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